There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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