just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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