goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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