the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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