D3 body, D1 cock
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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