marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
it glows. i had to have it.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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