Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
