So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
