Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
