Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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