I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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