Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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