that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
