i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Found the puke drawer
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
