he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize