I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
