I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
