Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
