just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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