"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Text me some of your sweat
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
