No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
