It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
