woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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