She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
