i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
