he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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