You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
