wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
