Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
