I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i was born a porn star she said
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
