I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
