i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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