Your face is a jimmy john
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize