After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
