I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
