just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
