let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize