It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
cat food counts as protein by the way
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
