Can i not drive my cunt home
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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