Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
