I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
