D3 body, D1 cock
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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