you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
