this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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