Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
