Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
