She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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