need another drink. this is the easiest way
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
