Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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