The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
