We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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