Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
