Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
