That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize