Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
