He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
