Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize