Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
