Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
