nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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