That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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