i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
